Sawtooth Trip 08

August 14th...4 men "allegedly" drove from Boise to Stanley Idaho in search of strange and mythical creatures said to inhabit the wilds of the Sawtooth Mountains.

Leaving their families with only faint hopes of their return some 4 days later. They could only dream that these men would come back the same as they left. However, nothing could be further from the truth. They would come back, oh yes, but as mere facsimiles of who they were before. They would be changed. Into something...greater.

Shortly after arriving, they discovered this would be no ordinary trip. One of the adventurers, Dave Norris, had brought a musical instrument designed to entice the beasts to the camp in an effort to get a better look, or possibly to capture a live specimen. The others armed themselves with wooden sticks they carved straight from standing live trees the size of grain silos, and with their bare hands.

The group made base camp, prepared for several day hikes out of the area in pursuit of the mindless killing machines they were here to find. The camp was chosen to allow only anticipated points of attack, so the group was aware of their weaknesses and were ready for anything.

They had all mentally and physically prepped for this mission. Not a detail had been missed. Phil and Dave did not forget a first aid kit, water shoes, or good bug spray. They did however bring a strong scented asphyxiation utility which does not repel insects at all...which is, of course, the point. The two hunters wanted to acclimate themselves to the woods. If the bugs left them alone, they would make themselves obvious. The bugs landed on their flesh, but at that close proximity, they could not breathe and they flew away almost immediately. The 20+ bug bites they endured were self inflicted to fit in.

On one of the treks from base camp, the party decided to split up. They formed ranks based on those with ridiculously long legs and those who are shorter and must run to keep up. For this reason, Jered and Matt decided to take point and lead the scouting party while Dave and Phil followed further behind, ready to provide backup and cover fire. This was the sole reason for them to lag almost a quarter mile behind the entire hike up to Imogene. No sightings were found on this hike to the higher elevations...but there was another hike on the day previous that DID produce some satisfactory results...There was a small lake (Upper Hell Roaring) after a steep climb to get to it. Phil Norris has been reported to have "smoked them like a cigar" when referring to the 3 other men on the climb with him. After arriving at the lake, and securing the area, Jered and Matt proceeded to empty the lake of all edible life. The only survivors were those who were deemed unfit for eating and were therefore released at the whim of their captors.

This photo (above left) was in fact taken of Phil as he was quite possibly drowning

on the swim out to a top secret island in the middle of this highly secluded body of water in the upper elevations of the Sawtooths (see below).

The monsters in question were nowhere to be found in this area. Although, they rarely show themselves in the daytime.

After this climb, Jered went for a swim in a shallow stream with his boots on. None of the other men clearly witnessed what happened next, but it appears that a "beast" may have launched itself from the depths of the babbling brook to drag Jered to his doom. Having been trained in the dark arts of martial defense, he fought off his assailant. But not without injury...

As you can clearly see here, this journey was fraught with peril and dangerous creatures. After 24 hours of being in the high mountain climate and thin air, the men started showing signs of dementia and insane thought. They made rash decisions about exactly WHAT they would do for $1 million, which super powers would be best suited for daily living, and...most importantly...HOW TO RECOGNIZE A VAMPIRE IF YOU ARE BEING HUNTED.

This, after all, was the reason they were there. They were hunting the most elusive and dangerous of all creatures, the bane to human existence, the vampire. This was the only photographic evidence of a vampire they found on the trip. It later turned out to be Matt, who was not drinking blood from a Nalgene at all. It was simply rasberry Crystal Light. This mistaken identity did not keep the rest of the men from tying him up in camp that night and draping garlic across his chest and dropping hot coals into his pajamas. He is, in fact, not a vampire.

On the morning of the 4th day, the intrepid adventurers headed homeware, emptyhanded, but with a plethora of megnificent memories and a mindful of jokes and stories that will never ever ever leave those mountains.

The plans are, next year, to commit themselves to a similar expedition, again in search of the wild and untameable and most likely dangerous. None of them can wait until 2009 when the hilarity will ensue once more...